Yelp Reviews SUCK. Here are 4 reasons why you should never rely on them to evaluate a nightclub.

When it comes to picking a nightclub– you should NEVER trust a Yelp review.

Yelp reviews of nightclubs and restaurants are utterly useless. (and we are not the only ones that think so:  Think Yelp is Unbiased? Think Again!! , Is Yelp Really for Morons?).

People who know better consult editorial reviews when choosing restaurants (such as Michelin ratings) — you should do the same when choosing a nightclub.

Relying on Yelp to guide you to the right nightclub is almost certain to end in disappointment.

Here are 4 reasons why you shouldn’t trust Yelp reviews when planning your night out:

  • Yelp reviews don’t account for people’s differing preferences
  • Most people only use Yelp to vent after an extremely negative experience (which is bound to happen even at the best establishments)
  • Around 25% of Yelp reviews are fake!
  • People review clubs they have never been to

Still not convinced that Yelp Nightclub reviews are worthless? Read on to for the details!

Reasons why Yelp reviews get 1 star:

Yelp reviews don’t account for the “spectrum of preferences”

Yelp is full of 1 star nightclub reviews. 

Many of these reviews were handed out because the reviewer didn’t like ‘house music’ or didn’t like ‘mainstream top 40 music’. And while that may provide you with great insight into the mindset and preferences of the reviewer, it does little to help you with the matter at hand: picking a nightclub that you will enjoy.

In other words– a 1 star review (or a 5 star review for that matter) doesn’t help you figure out if YOU will like a nightlcub, it only tells you if the reviewer liked it… and frankly, who gives a shit about what that guy thinks?

There are hundreds of clubs in New York.  Competition between them is fierce.  In order to thrive, clubs must differentiate themselves by offering unique programming. 

The ones that do it best offer programming that appeals very strongly to a narrow group of people.  They do such a good job at this that their target demographic wants to go nowhere else. 

For instance, Le Baron with the hip downtown crowd or Provocateur with wealthy Europeans, and so on—both of these places do a spectacular job of curating their intended crowd.

If you are able to find a club that caters to your preferred type of crowd, you will have a blast. The problem is that Yelp is just not a very good way to do that.

The result? A whole lot of clubs with 1 star Yelp reviews given to them by people who were never their intended customers in the first place.

Extreme Negative Reactions

Many Yelp reviews are written by angry patrons that take to the internet in order to vent impotent rage.   A majority of these reviews are written by people with unrealistic expectations about getting in to a club. They expect to be able to just walk-in to any place that they want, without reservations.

And what happens when they get rejected at the door? you guessed it– an unwarranted one star Yelp review.

These are the same people that go to a 3 Michelin star restaurant, order an expensive meal, and then bitch about how much it costs when the bill comes.

What these people don’t realize is that it is possible for pretty much anyone to get in to a club.  It just takes preparation, and planning and probably some money – just like getting a reservation at a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

Yelp is a Shill Factory

The practice of buying fake Yelp reviews is commonplace.  It is estimated that up to 25% of user generated reviews are fake.  (read more about it here).  A quick scan of Yelp reveals many 5 star nightclub reviews posted by promoters that all want you to come to the “hottest party in NYC.”

People review clubs they’ve never been to

As the mysterious twitter handle and nightlife expert NYNightlife points out—many Yelp reviews are obviously written by people that have either never been to the places that they are reviewing, or just have no idea what they are talking about.  (read more about it here: Yelp Gems)

So what should you take away from this article? Its pretty simple. When it comes to picking a nightclub, Yelp reviews are not your friend.  

If you want to have a good time the next time that you go out– your best bet is to figure out what kind scene you prefer and then pick one that has a reputation for catering to your preferences.

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